Allsportspk Satire-Eng Vs Ire Test: We played ‘Bullah Pakistan Cricket Style’ Says Joe Root
After winning of the World Cup based on “boundary method,” in its first Test match against Ireland, the English batsmen cum team applied a different method and scored 85 runs in the first innings. About a totally different performance the English captain, Joe Root was asked by the media that what method was applied to achieve such a score..
The captain Joe Root instantly replied, “Bullah Pakistan Style.”
He elaborated that “As the Pre colonial lad Bulleh Shah had said, Change, is what we all need, hence, we decided to follow advice of our good old lad,” Root said.
He further said the whole team called special meeting for the ‘change’ and after much pondering and going over different ideas, we decided to opt for most dangerous style, ‘The Bullah Pakistan Style’.
“In start, we were all afraid, cautious to even think about the whole style mainly due to its complexity, expertise and analytical power,” Root shared, adding for this very purpose, our whole team started watching old tapes of Pakistani cricket team’s matches, over and over again. “And we did on the night of world cup final victory.”
Sharing the details of their strategy, Roof further said that in start, all of our players just refused to follow this style because it was too dangerous, it was like living on the edge, riskier than Brexit.
“The situation was so worse that, the players even stopped mentioned the very name of the style,” he said. “Several session with the psychiatrists, made the players to go for this style.”
Root added that this whole situation was so dangerous that the players were afraid that they will not be able to follow the style which will make a huge bad impact of English cricket on the whole world.
“Most importantly, what Pakistani cricket players would have thought, the inventors, would have been so angry with us that we tried to follow them, and failed so easily,” Root recalled, adding that it was like a horror dream where you let down your idol or a great inventor.
“They have been doing for over six decades and that with proper consistency, devotion, focus and determination, which is simply awe striking,” the captain said, adding in some way, it was tribute to the great cricket team of Pakistan.
Talking about the other aspect of the plan, Root said as all know, we are a diverse team and we have collected players from around the world.
“There is no role of colonialism in it, whatsoever,” he clarified categorically.
“Anyway, another reason of opting for this strategy was choosing and learning the other cultures and as our lads Rashid Khan and Moeen Ali, feel left out of our celebrations at specific time, hence, we decide to practice the follow of their elders and that is why we ended up at Pakistani Style,” Root explained in detail.
He further said that even Rashid and Ali were afraid to follow the style because personally they never did it, hence, they had to ask from their elders, their aunts, their grandparents and had to dugout the old family traditions.
“But the biggest success for us was we not only followed the style perfectly, but also had a great learning experience for the team through this,” Root said.
“We are proud of ourselves and we have been receiving congratulatory messages from the Pakistani players, so it is a complete win-win situation,” Root concluded.
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